A few weeks ago, I joined a new gym in town just a few minutes from work hoping to begin my annual transformation from somewhat-height/weight proportionate-40-something male to athletic-not-sure-how-old-he-is mature male. Its a transformation I've undertaken ever since I divorced the first of my three wives 20 years ago (a story for another blog). Being health conscience, I've had the opportunity to join several gyms through the years and discovered that, somewhere along the way, I've become a gym snob. Don't get me wrong, when it comes down to it, all the dumbells weigh the same, the treadmills all tread at the same speed and the music is all the same techno-pop-rock jumble you'll hear everywhere else... but, the older I get, the more I expect and/or need for monthly access to my checking account. I've been a satisfied 24-hour Fitness customer for years until the day a friend suggested I take a look at Lifetime Fitness (now referred to as Globo Gym). I remember watching the construction and wondering what a strange location for a five-star hotel to be built. Little did I know that the "hotel" was Globo Gym.
I call it Globo Gym because it reminds me so much of the gym in the movie Dodgeball. When I walked in for a tour, I fully expected Ben Stiller to jump out at me in his spandex tights and porno mustache to congratulate me on making the decision to lose the 15-pack abs I was wearing. Oh, and to utter his trademark phrase "We're better than you and we know it.". As I walked through the gym, I couldn't help but notice the 50+ plasma monitors, personalized children's center, dual indoor Olympic-sized pools, two full-sized basketball courts, 50ft. climbing wall, indoor soccer field, free yoga classes, carpeted locker rooms with sauna and steam room and all types of treadmills and nautilus machinery. All of a sudden, 24 Hour Fitness became a fading thought as I was seduced by all of the amenities thrown at my feet for the low low price of $49 per month... twice what I was paying at 24 Hour.
In the end, I guess you could compare the upgrade of my gym membership to that of obtaining a trophy wife... lot's of beauty, entertainment and upkeep... for a price... but, man it sure is nice.
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